Riding the wave of frustration

to learn something new

I believe our general population is losing the ability to deal with frustration. Or perhaps, our tolerance for frustration is worn down faster as we are now living in a world that is filled with friction. Our world is full of things we can’t control and don’t like. I know that sometimes, it can all feel like too much. So I can see why someone might want to turn to generative A I to do their thinking for them, or to create art for them. But in doing so, I think something very important is lost.

The struggle is what makes the fruit of success all the tastier. The difficulty is what makes the lesson stick in your brain. We NEED to be challenged to retain our cognitive abilities. The journey of novice to mastery is what makes life interesting and full. So, as a recovering avoidant, I’m challenging myself to work through the things that frustrate me. My goal is to remind myself how to deal with frustration.

How do you deal with frustration? The same way you deal with all other difficult feelings: you let the feeling exist, and you talk yourself through it.

Like all feelings, the frustration will come in waves. It will build and seem insurmountable, and then it will subside as long as you can walk yourself through it, in inching little steps.

One of the areas that I am challenging myself is in honing my skills in anatomy and perspective. I have a tendency to rely on my observational drawing skills to make a piece of artwork. There isn’t anything bad about this, except that I have to rely very heavily on my references. Finding credible references takes time (especially with all the A I slop on the internet), and I want to make as much art as I can before I die. I don’t want to spend that much time searching for references. Which means I need to learn how to draw anything from my imagination.

How do you learn how to draw anything from your imagination? By breaking things down into simple shapes in perspective and building up your memory or “visual library.”

I’m starting with something that ALWAYS annoys me when I’m drawing- feet.

For some reason, I have always had a hard time drawing feet and shoes. The shape has never made sense to me. So I’m beginning here, with something that I know will benefit me once I finally learn it. Thankfully, we live in a time where learning anything is made easier- as long as we put in the effort.

To help me learn, I’m using three resources:

Anatomy for Artists: Drawing Form and Pose by Tom Fox

Proko.com: Anatomy of the Human Body

Proko.com: The Perspective Course

As I’m drawing, I keep encountering the expectation that I should know this already, or should already be good at this.

Dealing with frustration means setting expectations to the side.

Expectations might come to you in the voice of a parent or a friend or a teacher that lives inside your head. Telling yourself “this is the expectation someone else has laid on me” might help you deal with those expectations. Or if it is something that is coming from yourself, I find that saying “the feeling that I SHOULD be better at this right now isn’t helpful. I’m putting in the work to get better now. Getting hung up on the idea that I should be further along is ACTUALLY KEEPING ME STUCK.” Find whatever you need to say to yourself to help you get through it. (it might take many tries to find the right thing to say to yourself!)

Take the frustration moment by moment.

Often, we want to quit when it gets hard because we want to do something easier and more fun. I get around this by setting a time limit (or a page limit) and telling myself that I need to just work on this problem for one more minute, or one more page. Then I can do whatever fun thing I want to do afterward.

If it feels too hard still, break it down further.

No step can be too small. BABY STEPS. Do as much as you can! You don’t have to succeed at every try- you just have to make the attempt! Sometimes, you might need to get an outside perspective to make sure you are approaching the problem from the right angle. Maybe someone else has a better way of breaking the information down! Be curious and look for as many solutions as you can. There is no one right way to solve anything.

Use tools to keep your nervous system calm.

Heat and soothing music helps me stay centered and focused. Frequent breaks, too. I can make my brain focus for no more than 30 minutes at a time. Then I have to stand up and walk around.

Be gentle with yourself, but don’t let yourself off the hook of learning.

Do not use berating language towards yourself. Do not call yourself stupid, or lazy. Remind yourself over and over that you can do it, you just have to push a little more. Remind yourself that you will be stronger once you push through. Remind yourself why you are trying to do this thing in the first place. Be gentle with yourself, but still be firm. You WILL be tired after trying to make yourself learn something hard. Allow yourself to take a short rest after your effort BUT PUT IN THE EFFORT. You don’t have to learn it all in one go. You don’t have to compete with anyone else to learn it. You can move at your own pace, but make sure you stay moving.

Ask someone to spot you.

Find yourself a drawing buddy! I was inspired to undertake this challenge by watching two of my friends, Megan Emmot and Kasey Snow, take on consistent creative challenges. Their efforts showed me that I could do it too, and I could talk to them whenever I felt a roadblock, because they knew the path as well. I know not everyone has amazing creative friends, which is why I will let you “borrow” one of mine! Kasey has a twitch channel where Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesday, she does an “Art Gym” where she sets up references that you can use to study from. She is an ex-teacher turned illustrator so you know her energy is soothing, calm, and encouraging. You can check out her youtube channel if you want to watch her previous streams before you jump in! Having a friend to encourage you makes all the difference!

Reward yourself after effort.

After a period of struggle, make sure to REALLY reward yourself. In Yoga, after you do all the poses, there is a period of time where you lay still and let the practice “soak in.” This, the Yogi’s say, is the most important step. So lay out a plan beforehand of something fun to do after your effort and use positive language to pump yourself up. You did something hard! You’ve got this!

Now, what are you frustrated with currently? I’d love to hear what you are struggling with and how you are climbing that mountain!

Thanks for reading!