How I found my style

and how chasing originality kept me stuck!

If you have been following my work for any length of time, you might have noticed that I like to experiment. The last three books I illustrated for a publisher were each in a different style…

and this new one, to come out this fall, is in yet a completely different style!

(here is a tiny sneak peek!)

You see, I have been on a quest- THE QUEST TO FIND MY STYLE!

Ever since graduating from college, I have been on this quest. I have tried all kinds of mediums, adding lines, taking lines away, layering, aping other artists, aping whole art movements…waiting for some magical tingle to show up and tell me that THIS is my style. I guess I had this thought that if I just kept experimenting, the magical style fairy would descend to on bop me on the head and yell “THIS ONE, DUMMY!” but that never happened.

I always wanted to be one of those artists that really get into their medium- layering all kinds of mixed media together and doing hundreds of preliminary sketches and building up some kind of unworldly mythos about their artwork. I’m thinking about artists like Eli Minaya or Sterling Hundley or Marshall Arisman or Francis Vallejo.

I always struggled with the idea that you have to be 100% orginal. Your illustration concepts must always be a new unique angle, or a new clever combination of ideas, or your style must be like nothing ever seen before- some incredible combination of paint and who knows what else that breaks totally new ground and wows everyone who sees it.

But chasing originality has kept me stuck.

Instead of making new work, I would sit around overthinking about whether what I wanted to make was “original enough” or “unique enough.” The problem is that we live in a time now where we can see almost every piece of artwork ever made on the internet. So many humans have come before and broke the mold over and over again, that trying to find an “original” idea feels pretty much impossible to me- a person with average intelligence and patience. I would find myself stalling and stuck because I was trying to reinvent the wheel each time.

When I attempted work that was multi layered and complicated, I found myself midway through the process eager to work on something else. I have always been frustrated because I am not making artwork as fast as I think I should be, and certainly nothing with enough consistency to attract the eye of an art director of a big publishing house.

I have read every book on style and voice that I think has been published. I think I’ve listened to every talk and read every article written about finding your style and voice. Some say it will come to you naturally. Some say you build it from taking inspiration from the artists you love.

I have tried both methods. There have been some pieces that I really loved making, but that were unpopular at the time that I posted them:

There have been pieces I wish I could do over but people seemed to love:

and there are pieces we (the people who look at my instagram) have agreed we both like…but I couldn’t figure out a way to apply the style to other pieces in a way I liked:

I have lived inside a cloud of confusion for almost 2 decades of art making.

The cloud was of my own making (recovering overthinker here), but the problem was that I was waiting for something or someone outside of myself to tell me what to do. I thought maybe a crowd of instagram followers would come to a consensus and point to the exact thing I should make. But…has there ever been a crowd of people who have agreed about anything?

The decision had to come from me.

After ages of indecision, I guess my brain got fed up (or I have had enough therapy to help me through my issues) because suddenly, a month or so ago, I woke up with the epiphany that I just had to CHOOSE something and stick with it. I know that sounds really obvious, but for some reason I thought my style and voice would “find” me- like it would be like Arthur pulling the sword out of the stone, or the Lady of the Lake holding out Excalibur.

(Which reminds me of my favorite scene/ quote in Monty Python’s Holy Grail: “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”)

Instead, I just realized that I wanted something simple and fast that would let me express the kind of ideas that felt fun to me. I wanted something that would stop me from overthinking so much, that would just let me get to work. So I’ve chosen something that feels stripped down and basic but that feels expressive enough for me to say what I want to say.

I chose based on these pieces that I made for a Stacie Bloomfield class.

Is it the right choice? Time will tell.

Is it original? Certainly not- many other artists use pen and watercolor (or digital pen/ watercolor)

Do I have fun while making the pieces? So far, I’ve had a blast.

Do I feel better having chosen a direction, instead of waiting for something to find me? YES, a hundred times yes.

So I guess to sum up this crazy long personal rant (if you are still reading, thank you!) I guess what I want to say is that if you feel stuck waiting for your style to find you, think about what is the EASIEST thing you can make and prioritize that.

What I’ve been learning through therapy is to just stop fighting myself on all fronts. To just figure out what feels soft and easy and to just follow that, regardless of what I THINK I should do. To let go of the stories that I have internalized about what a “great artist” is and what illustration “should” be and just make the things that make me chuckle, and that keeps me glued to my chair until I’ve finished the piece.

So, now I’m off to make some new work!

Thank you for reading. I’d love it if you would tell me about your struggles with finding your voice and style and if what you have found has helped you overcome those struggles in the comments!

Until next week!

-Jeanne